The Dastardly Unnecessary Adventures Of Sir Tarquin Lamb Pasanda And His Good Colleagues Sirs Fitzwellington Tikka Massala and Gregory Bacon Phaal!

Welcome To The Archives Of Chivalry!

The last words of my mentor Sir Montgomery Tuna Mayo - "Lest we all die in glorious battle against our foes... let it not be in vain!" I took those words to heart, and after nobly freeing his valuables from his widow and borrowing his credit card, I immediately began work on this. The archive within which things that may be important to other things are archived! Here we shall document our struggle against The Foe - whom we have documented on this archive for all to see. This archive is a collection of Secret Sandwich Service dossiers, HM Government reports, tavern tales, our own fine memories and countless journals - all carefully put together by our official scribe and given the once over by us all. If you can find my noble colleagues and I, we shall be happy to give you further information. Until this fabled day, stay vigilant in the face of mortal danger! 



Join me as Ned and his team take me to meet the mysterious benefactor, Dan 'Diamond' Danson, as the worldspanning search to reunite the team begins!


It has been more than a year since the Order was fully assembled.

It has been more than a year since I have seen my comrades.

It has been more than a year since I cared about my own self preservation.

It is now that I will bring the team back together.